Self-Mastery (Personal Leadership)

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CHANGE YOUR MIND, CHANGE YOUR LIFE

ChangeMindLife

 

This is the story of Kathleen, a client of one of my Coach colleagues, Karyn Greenstreet. I too have been a client of Karyn and I must say she is quite competent. So be sure to check out her great content on her website after your read Kathleen’s story, at passionforbusiness.com

Now back to the story of Kathleen. I read Kathleen’s story and found it striking. I thought that instead of writing my own post, I should share this simple, powerful and very human story with you. I read it and I saw myself. I saw my clients. I saw my family members, friends, colleagues I work with, and other folk that I know and observe in daily life.

Read the Rest…

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One Main Way to Love Yourself More

LoveYouMore

 

Stop taking things personally! If you more often than not take things personally you are indulging in what psychologists call “Personalization.” Personalization is a cognitive distortion. So what is a cognitive distortion, you may wonder? A firm belief that something is true, when it is not. The problem is that the erroneous belief negatively impacts how we see ourselves, others, and the world in which we live. This in turn influences our poor decision making in the significant areas of our lives. Read the Rest…

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What if You Are The Weakest Link?

The Power to Change Beliefs
So you’ve finally and decisively (hopefully) made up your mind and now your goal is clear. But did you know that no matter how good you are at what you have set out to do, your performance will most likely be sub-optimal?  The Theory of Constraints, developed by Dr. Eli Godratt (1984) attempts to explain this for us. Essentially Dr. Godratt is saying what we’ve heard from youth, “A chain is as strong as its weakest link.” When a business or an individual sets out to accomplish a goal, they will be hampered by constraints.

Constraints in an organization can relate to people, supplies, information, equipment, or policies. They can be tangible and intangible (e.g. organizational culture) and can also be internal or external to an organization. Constraints on a personal level can involve skills, knowledge, attitudes, people,  finances, tools/equipment, environment (e.g. domestic, geographical, national, global). As in organizations, personal  constraints can be tangible or intangible, and internal or external.

If we look at constraints as related to weaknesses or vulnerabilities, then there may be several such factors relevant to your particular goal. However, in the Theory of Constraints, there can only be one (1) constraint at a time. The weakest link. The factor that causes the…greatest… vulnerability or threat to the achievement of your goal.  It is instructive to understand and remember ,that it is the weakest link that sets the pace of your progress towards achieving your goal.

Therefore your goal setting activity must include up front, the identification of  your constraints, and careful judgment on your part of which of them represents your weakest link. If you wish to increase the likelihood of achieving your goal, then once the constraint is identified, you must manage it. That means take action to completely eliminate it, if that is possible, or manage it well. After you have implemented your strategy to manage your constraint, you should do an evaluation to determine whether your progress towards your goal has improved. If not, then adjust your strategy and evaluate again, and repeat until the constraint is effectively managed. If yes, you can expect your progress will speed up. It is now time to determine what is the next weakest link and take action to manage that and so on.

It is very likely that , many persons have aborted, and still-born goals in their personal history. This is not because the goal was intrinsically nigh impossible. This is not because they themselves were no match for the goal. It may simply be a case of setting a worthy goal, becoming distracted and enamoured with the idea of accomplishing the goal, and embracing the positive changes that it will bring, without doing the hard work of considering the disabling factors within and externally, which may get in the way. Then reality strikes at the most inconvenient time and they lose their self-confidence, and energy, towards their vision for their lives, and self-doubt , fear and hesitation increases.

Goals are there to help us keep focus on and bring into our lives the things we value most.  Yet the process of setting goals must be done properly if we are to achieve them and develop our lives in the way we desire and deserve. Have you aborted a goal because you were hi-jacked by a constraint you didn’t  pay early attention to? Did you miscalculate which constraint represented your weakest link? Remember the constraint can be internal or external. Interestingly, some experts argue based on the Pareto Principle that most of our constraints are internal. How does this apply to you and your habit of setting or not setting goals? Do you cultivate a mindset of limiting beliefs? Do you suffer from procrastination or indecisiveness? Do you typically jump into things without careful analysis and reflection? Do you properly plan concerning others but poorly plan for yourself? Do you avoid asking for help from family, friends, experts, colleagues?

You owe it to yourself to live your life fully. You can do this by examining what’s holding you back in any or  every area of your life, and begin crafting a plan, then taking action to eliminate the constraint, even if you discover that it is you who are standing in your own way.

 

References

Godratt’s Theory of Constraint (Parts 1 of 3)
http://www.brighthubpm.com/project-planning/4088-goldratts-theory-of-constraints-part-one/

The Theory of Constraints
https://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/toc.htm

Living Without Limits
http://www.briantracy.com/blog/personal-success/living-without-limits/

 


ABOUT CHERYLL MESSAM

Cheryll Messam, is a Personal & Professional Development Consultant, Life & Corporate Coach, Career Coach, Professional Resume Writer and LinkedIn Profile Writer. Through coaching, consultations, and training opportunities, Coach Cheryll  supports Professionals who wish to master or eliminate challenging workplace, interpersonal, productivity, self-confidence, and career issues or set and accomplish realistic goals.

Learn more about Coach Cheryll at her website www.youinmindjamaica.comor connect with her on LinkedIn https://jm.linkedin.com/in/cheryllmessam

 

Cheryll Messam, CPC, ELI-MP

Certified Professional Life & Corporate Coach
Energy Leadership Master Practitioner
You in Mind Jamaica – Your Ally for Excellence in Life & Work
Local clients: 876-357-6397 (Jamaica)
International clients: 954-762-7942 / Skype: cmessam2
Email: cheryll@youinmindjamaica.com
Website: http://youinmindjamaica.com/
LinkedIn: https://jm.linkedin.com/in/cheryllmessam

 

PLEASE JOIN US

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/youinmindjamaica
Twitter: https://twitter.com/youinmindJA

 

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Take Note. Take Action. Have a Happy New Year!

Happy New Year 2016

 

Given that in this one month, I experience two birthdays (It’s a Jamaican thing. Strange but true of many. Ha-ha-hah!), and the celebration of Jesus’ birth, and the eve of a New Year, I do a lot of reflecting at this time.

This morning was no different. I was led to reflect on the LOVE of GOD, and how very grateful I am to be alive at the end of another year of my life. And you know how you go from one thing to another in seconds…when you really should be concentrating on one thing? Well, next thing I knew, I was thinking of my Mother (deceased 2010) and a moment in which she loved me, so clearly. We weren’t close, so thoughts of her are always significant to me.


I am embarrassed to tell you, that Once upon a time…when I was less than 10 years old, I used to steal tamarind ball sweets from the supermarket we shopped at as a family. I used to pinch a hole in the bag and take out a few. Sometimes, I would take the whole bag. I don’t know how Mummy found out, but one day she caught me…after we left the supermarket. She took me back there, right away. Had me go to the manager and return the bag of tamarind balls…and explain why I was returning it, and.. apologize.
At first the manager couldn’t understand what I was saying. She apparently thought I was offering her some tamarind balls. I really wanted to go with her interpretation, but a brief glance at Mummy verified that ‘the piercing , threatening …look’ was real. With fear, shame and tears, I explained myself to the manager. With her own glance at Mummy, I guess she felt sorry for me, and did the gracious “Ohh! That’s ok!” and took the bag of remaining tamarind balls from me, and touched me reassuringly.
That’s all I remember of that incident. Don’t remember if Mummy said anything to me on my way home. She probably didn’t. She studied drama and used it to good effect in her parenting of me and my brothers. What I can tell you is, from that day, I learned my lesson that stealing, dishonesty, deception (including self-deception), are not good things and that they weren’t for me. To this day I am hyper against deception of any kind.
But that’s not the reason I am sharing this story with you this New Year’s Eve.
I’m approximately at the age she was when the incident happened. And I’m thinking of how hard it was for my Mummy to turn me in to that supermarket manager.
How she may have feared being judged by the manager for her quality of parenting . What she must have been thinking to herself as she stood there watching to ensure that I followed through on her instructions, and confess what I had done, and apologize for stealing. What she may have feared for my moral and character development, as a parent. Why would she steal? Why would she steal tamarind balls of all things when we have 2 tamarind trees at home; and she is eating them all the time; plus having them stewed and in drinks? It just doesn’t make any sense!!! Whatever her thoughts and conflicting emotions and embarrassment, she-turned-me-in. I had began to harbour unhealthy ideas about life which needed correction. Mummy toughened up and she-turned-me-in.
What about you, though? Do you have some unhealthy ideas about life, or unhealthy relationships which need correction, if…you are to have the Prosperous 2016 that you desire and deserve? In what aspects of your life do you need to separate your strong emotional attachment, and take a tough decision and bring correction, so that your life can flourish, and be what it was meant to be, wholesome, healthy, joyful, productive, positively impactful, attracting new and satisfying experiences? I encourage you to set emotions aside, identify what’s unhealthy in your life and holding you back, be courageous, and turn-it-in for a better life in 2016.
This New Year 2016 will reflect the sum total of our choices and responses to stressors as well as opportunities. Just like every other year. So take note. Take action and have a Happy New Year!
With You in Mind,

WANT CAREER MANAGEMENT TIPS?

Click the link to add your name to our contact database and receive your free copy of our e-report: The Seven Deadly Sins of the Professional. 

WANT TO PAUSE AND ASSESS HOW LIFE IS GOING FOR YOU?
Click the link to add your name to our contact database and receive your free copy of our e-book: Life is Just for Living. So How Am I Doing?


CONTACT COACH CHERYLL

Cheryll Messam Certified Professional Life & Corporate Coach

Cheryll Messam
Certified Professional Life & Corporate Coach

Coach Cheryll Messam, CPC, ELI-MP, is a Certified Professional Life & Corporate Coach, Resume Writer, LinkedIn Profile Writer, and owner of YOU in Mind Jamaica, a personal and professional development company. Coach Cheryll helps local and international clients look their best on paper via professionally written resumes and LinkedIN profiles. Through consultations or coaching sessions Cheryll helps her clients overcome their workplace, career management, job search, productivity, self-confidence and goal setting challenges.

Cheryll Messam, CPC, ELI-MP
Certified Professional Life & Corporate Coach
Energy Leadership Master Practitioner
You in Mind Jamaica – Your Ally for Excellence in Life & Work
Local clients: 876-357-6397 (Jamaica)
International clients: 954-762-7942 / Skype: cmessam2
Email: cheryll@youinmindjamaica.com (* Remember to include your  name and telephone number in your message)

*
Office Hours:
Coaching sessions & Consultations are done by phone or internet telephony e.g. Skype. Best time to call during weekdays is evenings 5 pm  – 10 pm EST, and on Saturdays 10 am – 5 pm.

PLEASE JOIN US

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How to Cope When Feeling Stuck & Overwhelmed

When we feel overwhelmed it is frequently because we are taking in everything all at once i.e. the problem; the cause; the players; the details of what has happened; the impact it has had or will have; and oh yes “What will people say…?” As most of us have experienced, there are just some things that are too huge to wrap our arms around at one go. Therefore we have to learn how to step back, calm down, and take another and more measured look at the problem. This is absolutely essential  if we  are to get past it and restore normalcy to our lives. In this video I share a strategy of how to use questions to break the spiral of overwhelm and regain perspective on how to take next steps to get resolution. Specifically I focus on the questions of “How vs Why?”

Hope you find this helpful!

 

CONTACT COACH CHERYLL

Coach Cheryll Messam, CPC, ELI-MP, is a Certified Professional Life & Corporate Coach,  Energy Leadership Master Practitioner, and owner of YOU in Mind Jamaica, a personal and professional development company. Coach Cheryll helps local and international clients overcome their workplace, career management, job search, productivity, self-confidence and goal setting challenges.

Cheryll Messam, CPC, ELI-MP
Certified Professional Life & Corporate Coach
Energy Leadership Master Practitioner
You in Mind Jamaica – Your Ally for Excellence in Life & Work
Local clients: 876-357-6397 (Jamaica)
International clients: 954-762-7942 / Skype: cmessam2
Email: cheryll@youinmindjamaica.com (* Remember to include your  name and telephone number in your message)

*
Office Hours:
Coaching sessions & Consultations are done by phone or internet telephony e.g. Skype. Best time to call during weekdays is evenings 5 pm  – 10 pm EST, and on Saturdays 10 am – 5 pm.


PLEASE JOIN US

Website: http://youinmindjamaica.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/youinmindjamaica
LinkedIN: jm.linkedin.com/in/cheryllmessam/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/youinmindJA

 

 

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Who Values Your Time the Most?

 

TIME (1)
Truth be told, as I review the patterns in my life from childhood to present, left on my own without PURPOSE or ACCOUNTABILITY, alas I am a time waster. Sorry to say, but it is true. Somehow among the good habits and values that were instilled in me by my parents, and other caregivers at school and in my community, valuing time just never stuck in my consciousness. Happily I see the error of my ways, and do a much better job now of being intentional about reigning myself in, and ensuring that I use more and more of my time in ways that add value to my life, and show respect for other people’s time. However, I don’t do it without  structure and support. Below I share some principles with you, which have helped me increase my sensitivity towards valuing my time. Read the Rest…

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Do You Love You?

I Love Me Too!

 

I love myself by

  1. Accepting myself fully, that is, the good and bad of who I am, while always striving to be better
  2. By dealing with unfinished business quickly so that bitterness, anger, anxiety has no chance of taking up residence in my soul
  3. By practicing self-respect, and insisting on respect in all my relationships, while showing respect for others
  4. Knowing what nourishes my soul and fills me with joy and laughter and making time for regular and generous doses
  5. Taking the time to identify my purpose in life, and live true to the fulfillment of my purpose
  6. Understanding my need to be connected to others as well as separate from others and honoring that need without guilt
  7. Attending to my priorities whenever I need to without needing to explain or apologize to others
  8. Saying “No” when I need to and without guilt
  9. Believing that only the best is good enough for me
  10. Fearlessly accepting the consequences of my actions, and humbly learning from mistakes
  11. Setting worthy goals and going the distance to achieve them
  12. Taking care of my physical and emotional health by eating well, getting sufficient sleep, regular exercise and stress management
  13. Loving myself first, which enables me to love others

 

How many of these statements are true of you?  Why not rate yourself, and for those which are not true of you, (as yet) ask yourself  “Why not?” Make a note of your answer and commit to personal growth in that area in 2015.

This Valentine’s Season I Wish for You

Generous Doses of Love for Self Too!

 

CONTACT COACH CHERYLL

Coach Cheryll Messam, CPC, ELI-MP, is a Certified Professional Life & Corporate Coach,  Energy Leadership Master Practitioner, and owner of YOU in Mind Jamaica, a personal and professional development company. Coach Cheryll helps local and international clients overcome their workplace, career management, job search, productivity, self-confidence and goal setting challenges.

Cheryll Messam, CPC, ELI-MP
Certified Professional Life & Corporate Coach
Energy Leadership Master Practitioner
You in Mind Jamaica – Your Ally for Excellence in Life & Work
Local clients: 876-357-6397 (Jamaica)
International clients: 954-762-7942 / Skype: cmessam2
Email: cheryll@youinmindjamaica.com (* Remember to include your  name and telephone number in your message)

*
Office Hours:
Coaching sessions & Consultations are done by phone or internet telephony e.g. Skype. Best time to call during weekdays is evenings 5 pm  – 10 pm EST, and on Saturdays 10 am – 5 pm.


PLEASE JOIN US

Website: http://youinmindjamaica.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/youinmindjamaica
LinkedIN: jm.linkedin.com/in/cheryllmessam/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/youinmindJA

 

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Energy Leadership Index – Online Attitudinal Assessment

ARE YOU A PROFESSIONAL filled with anger and frustration, wanting to let it go and have a new attitude at work, but finding it very difficult?

  • Has the workplace taken its toll on you, leaving you with low to no energy or interest?
  • Do you dread going to work?
  • Does your stomach churn during the day?
  • Do you have frequent tension between you and your boss or colleagues?
  • Have you grown less productive but working longer hours?
  • Are you at work, wishing you were somewhere else?
  • Do you long for the days when you were happier?
  • Do you wish you could just snap-out-of-it and get back to being  you?

 

We recommend the Energy Leadership Index Assessment (ELI)!

 

The ELI provides a data driven and current picture of how well you are engaged and motivated in your professional as well as personal life. Your level of engagement influences your ability to lead yourself and others to desired outcomes. In addition, the assessment provides a framework to assist you in reading your own emotions and that of others,  as well as changing your thought patterns, in order to become re-invigorated in your daily life. The ELI helps you become more masterful in your interpersonal interactions. The great thing about the ELI is that it measures your attitude versus personality. Attitudes can change with new knowledge and new skills. However personality tends to be stable over time.

The ELI takes approximately 20 minutes to complete. Once you complete it, a report will be sent to your Life Coach who will arrange a phone/internet telephony e.g. Skype  appointment with you, to do the debrief.  During the debrief, your results will be explained in the context of a 7 point scale, with levels 1 – 2 representing the negative levels, and levels 3 – 7 representing the positive levels on the scale. You will have the opportunity during the debrief to reflect on  which levels show up in your  professional as well as personal life. The ELI takes approximately 20 minutes to complete. The debrief takes  1.5 to 2 hours.

 

How Else Will You Benefit from Taking the ELI?

 

Clients who take the ELI

  • Receive a framework by which to monitor their negative emotions, as well as the negative emotions of those around them. This enables thoughtful and strategic interactions with others, which produce greater harmony
  • Develop greater self-awareness and greater confidence in controlling their emotions
  • Understand more concretely how better life will be once they work on eliminating the causes of the negative emotions in their life
  • Receive clarity on what areas of their life they need to focus on so that they can live the quality life they desire and deserve.

 COST US $100.00
(Suggested Price $415.00)

CONTACT Coach Cheryll Today!

Coach Cheryll Messam, CPC, ELI-MP, is a Certified Professional Life & Corporate Coach,  Energy Leadership Master Practitioner, and owner of YOU in Mind Jamaica, a personal and professional development company. Coach Cheryll helps local and international clients overcome their workplace, career management, job search, productivity, self-confidence and goal setting challenges.

Cheryll Messam, CPC, ELI-MP
Certified Professional Life & Corporate Coach
Energy Leadership Master Practitioner
You in Mind Jamaica – Your Ally for Excellence in Life & Work
Local clients: 876-357-6397 (Jamaica)
International clients: 954-762-7942 / Skype: cmessam2
Email: cheryll@youinmindjamaica.com (* Remember to include your  name and telephone number in your message)

*
Office Hours:
Coaching sessions & Consultations are done by phone or internet telephony e.g. Skype. Best time to call during weekdays is evenings 5 pm  – 10 pm EST, and on Saturdays 10 am – 5 pm.


PLEASE JOIN US

Website: http://youinmindjamaica.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/youinmindjamaica
LinkedIN: jm.linkedin.com/in/cheryllmessam/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/youinmindJA


OTHER YOU IN MIND JAMAICA PRODUCTS & FREE DOWNLOADS


The Seven Deadly Sins of the Professional
– Cheryll Messam, CPC, ELI-MP

e-Book Life is For Living. So How Am I Doing?

 

 

 

 Life is Just for Living. So How Am I Doing – Cheryll Messam, CPC, ELI-MP

 

 

MANNA Cover for Flyer-2014

Try MANNA…Inspiration-Relaxation-Reggae – Cheryll Messam, CPC, ELI-MP

 

 

CPC LogoELI MP logo v2 - hi res file

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How To Lose Another Year of Your Life

Losing Another Year

 

So Are You Ready to Lose Another Year of Your Life?  Here are some of the best strategies to ensure that happens.

Don’t Value Your Own Time And Insist That Others Do The Same. When we know the value of our time especially the monetary value of our time, [ (Salary/2000 hrs, i.e. avg number of hrs worked annually) = Your Hourly Salary Rate; Hourly Rate/60 = Your Per Minute Salary Rate] we know how much each activity costs us…literally. If we wish to make progress in the significant areas of our lives (e.g. Personal Development, Financial, Health, Family, Love Relationships, Spiritual, Leisure, Career), we need to become disciplined  in consciously linking our activities to our goals in those significant areas. Knowing the value of our time empowers us to ask “What return will I get for spending my time on XYZ?” For example, if your time is valued at US$10 per minute and you find yourself with 30 mins of discretionary time = US $300 value, what would give you a better return on that US $300 you are about to spend…30 mins browsing Facebook or 30 mins reading on a topic that will enhance your professional skills? Read the Rest…

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How To Connect Your Time to Making More Money

dollar-sign-black

 

Do You Need More Money?

I hope you realize by now that the adage “Time is Money” is certainly not foolishness. Time provides you with opportunity to think, to choose, to be creative, to make strategic connections and to take action. Each of those activities are used daily by persons in excellent financial health to create and maintain wealth. So if you are serious about increasing your cash flow or improving your financial health; and you are ready to give yourself permission to be wealthy, rich, financially prosperous…whatever name you give it, then:

  • Develop a strong awareness about how you spend your time
  • Make a serious commitment to stop wasting time
  • Look for Time Stealers and eliminate them. BE RUTHLESS! Yes I mean it. That’s what it will take to see the change in your income
  • Directly connect your use of time to activities that increase your income or cash flow Read the Rest…
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