January, 2017

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The 10 Commandments of People Who Self-Sabotage – What They Say & Why



  1. “Nothing I do will make a difference!”
    Belief: I am a victim.
  2. “What will they say?”
    Belief: What family, friends, and people I want to like and accept me think, is more important than what I think or value, especially in relation to my own life.
  3. “I need him [her] in my life.”
    Belief: I cannot be [do it] alone.
  4. “I am going to make her do what she should do for me!”
    Belief: I have enough power and influence to force people to change their behaviour.
  5. “I would have that by now if only…”
    Belief: A good excuse will cover up my lack of action and progress in the significant areas of my life.
  6. “All my life people keep saying this or that about me, but they just don’t understand.”
    Belief: I am not responsible for the negative patterns that show up in my life, it’s my circumstances.
  7. “I’m not as smart or as attractive or as educated or as wealthy or as connected as…”
     Belief:  When I focus on the assets of others I don’t need to admit that I do not like myself or value myself highly or believe in myself enough.
  8. “I could have that, if I really wanted it.”
    Belief: It’s not that I truly can’t do something or I find it difficult, my lack of performance is due to motivation
  9. “I need more time to think about it”
    Belief: I cannot admit that I am afraid.
  10. “I don’t need help, everybody has setbacks in life.”
    Belief: If I ask for help it means that something is seriously wrong with me.


Cheryll Messam is a Personal & Professional Development Consultant, Life, Corporate & Career Coach, Professional Resume Writer and LinkedIn Profile Writer. She helps professionals overcome workplace,  job hunting, career management, emotional intelligence, self-confidence challenges, as well as set and accomplish life & work goals. To learn more about our services click on the links below and feel free to contact Cheryll via email: cheryll@youinmindjamaica.com  or phone: 954-762-7942 (Int);  876-357-6397 (Local)

International Clients Click Here!

Local Clients Click Here!


LinkedIn: https://jm.linkedin.com/in/cheryllmessam
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/youinmindjamaica
Twitter: https://twitter.com/youinmindJA
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How to Make This YOUR Year




  1. Personally accept that YOU can have the best year of your life to date, this very year. Without this core belief, you show up in your life as a victim, someone to whom things happen, not someone who makes [good] things happen for your own self.
  2. Become clear about what you want in the significant areas of your life e.g. Self, Family, Love Relationship, Friendships, Career, Finances, Health, Spiritual, Fun & Enjoyment. Decide WHAT is important in the area and WHY it is important to you. Write down how life would be better if that goal was accomplished and your current reality.
  3. Select the most important area of your life to start acting on. That would be the area which if corrected today would have the greatest positive impact on you overall.
  4. Identify your constraints. Be honest with yourself about what holds you back from doing the things you need to do for your life, or doing them on time. Eliminating your constraints or managing them will greatly boost every effort you make in investing in the quality life you desire and deserve, this year.
  5. Remind yourself daily/weekly of what this year means to you, and why. Many times we do not have what we need or want, because we lose sight of what we truly want.
Personal/Professional Development Planning

I use a tool called the Wheel of Life with my clients. It helps you to rate the significant areas of your life and give yourself a score for the level of satisfaction you are currently experiencing in each area of your life. It is an effective personal/professional development exercise that will give you snap shot about how you are feeling about the various areas of your life, and how you are feeling about one area in relation to the other areas. The Wheel of Life is quite useful at this time of year, especially with most of the year ahead of you.

Why is this helpful? Once you give yourself clear feedback on how you are feeling about your life right now, you have the basis of deciding what you need to work on to create the quality of life you wish for yourself.

Contact me at cheryll@youinmindjamaica.com if you wish to purchase a Wheel of Life Consultation. Clients have the option of a 30 min or 1 hour consultation by phone or internet e.g. Skype. And perhaps there are other ways I can support you in making this your best year to date, so feel free to visit our website and review our services at

International Clients Click Here!

Local Clients Click Here!

Looking forward to being your Ally for Excellence in Life & Work as you are bound for your best year to date! BEGIN!

Cheryll Messam, CPC, ELI-MP
Consultant | Certified Professional Life, Corporate & Career Coach |Professional Resume Writer & LinkedIn Profile Writer
Energy Leadership Master Practitioner
Company: You in Mind Jamaica – Your Ally for Excellence in Life & Work

Local clients: 876-357-6397
International clients: 954-762-7942
Skype: cmessam2
Google Hangouts w Cheryll
Email: cheryll@youinmindjamaica.com
Website: http://youinmindjamaica.com/

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My 5 Life Lessons @ 50 Years

My5LifeLessons (1)

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